Archive
Gender and Sexual Violence
A survey seeking those who are 18 years, and older, to answer a survey about sexual victimization they have experienced. The survey is also seeking male participants. See the link below. This is 100% anonymous.
The Thin Line Between Safety and Victim Blaming
Here we go again, the CBC are inadvertently blaming women for their sexual assaults. I am not really sure what isn’t to get. IF I AM SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IT IS NOT MY FAULT. The article I am referring to can be found Here entitled “Women warned to be vigilant after third groping incident.” The title is a reference to the CPS, apparently, warning women to be more vigilant about their personal safety after a man attacked a women last night in Erin Woods. This same man is believed to be responsible for at least 2 other assaults in the area. One woman was attacked in her Garden, another while jogging, and this latest incident was a woman attacked in an alley behind her own home.
Don’t get me wrong I understand the idea that a psycho is still a psycho. The argument goes that the psycho isn’t going to care about the law, and people should make sure they are being safe. And I get this, I really do. This is why when I ride Calgary transit I only wear one headphone as opposed to two (so I can hear the things going on around me). But why must the police, and media issue warnings to women to be more conscious of their safety? I assure you as a women we are always watching out for ourselves but we will not live in a bubble either. Instead of issuing a warning to women about safety perhaps you should be issuing a warning to the asshat who is attacking us in our own gardens. Just a thought. Please stop perpetuating the myth that is “blaming the victim.” Yes clearly this individual is someone who has no concept of consent, or boundaries. But us being more vigilant about our safety, won’t make a difference if he is attacking us in our gardens.
Now I am not sure if the CPS actually said women need to be more cautious, as the CBC never quoted an officer saying anything of the sort. What CPS did say was “It is concerning. We’re just fortunate when he’s challenged this individual flees, but we’re always concerned the attacks might escalate in nature. So, we’re putting a strong effort into capturing this individual.” This is the correct response. Warn the individual you are coming after them, sexual assault is not appropriate, don’t warn women to stop living their lives. Believe me, we are aware.
Now for some information on the suspect:
The suspect is described as a Caucasian male, approximately 25-years-old. He has a slim build and was wearing a black hoodie and grey pants.
Latest Potential Homicide in Calgary Deemed “disgusting”
Those of you in Calgary are probably aware of the stabbing that happened late on Sunday in a SW community near Mount Royal 
University. This has not yet been labelled Calgary’s 9th Homicide of the year but probably will be. According to the media neighbours state that this house was well known in the neighbourhood one woman telling metro “It’s disgusting,” said mother of three Bobbie Casello. “They need to bulldoze that home until there’s nothing left … this is why I don’t sleep.” Police claim they have been to the house over 100 times since 2005 and arrested people a number of times. Further the metro states
“Ald. John Mar, who met with concerned citizens last year to discuss problems associated with the home, believes Sunday’s incident serves as the final straw.“Now I think it’s absolutely time for us to remove it — destroy the property,he said.”
Now I don’t want to come across as lessening the issue that this neighbourhood is clearly facing however I still must ask a big WTF to this. So on the one hand we have what is probably a murder in a drug house that was visited by police over 100 times since 2005 (but nothing was able to be done about it apparently), people stating that this is the last straw with drugs, and an Alderman saying that the property needs to be destroyed? Really? The property must be destroyed because two guys were fighting over drugs and someone died? OK, fair enough. This is becoming unsafe, and obviously out of control and it is absolutely ridiculous that the CPS, once again, have their hands tied and can’t do anything except have a revolving door at the down town lock up. But really, the solution is “let’s bulldoze the property”? And not only that… this city Councillor is meeting with the public about what to do about this one house? Where are city officials to meet with the public on addressing the silence on domestic abuse? Where is the collaboration with the general public on those issues?
My problem with this claim isn’t just that bulldozing the property is probably a gross over reaction (unless the house is destroyed due to drugs), but that this is what is getting our attention. Two guys fighting over drugs. Not Calgary’s 8th homicide of the year of the year. Cherry Lotus Ledesma was found in her home by roommates beat to death by her husband in her NE home on Nov 4. A home that police say they visited 37 times in the last year, usually to break up screaming matches between the couple, and on Nov 3 visited the house twice on complaints of intoxicated people in the front yard. Police also state that likely she was already dead in the house during these 2 calls on Nov 3. Meaning this person was probably laying dead, in her home for over 36 hours. In other words the police were on the property as she lay dead in the home.
I am in no way criticizing the CPS. They don’t necessarily have the resources in order to be able to help. But I am criticizing the government and people’s reactions. On the one hand we have a community that is outraged that someone was murdered in their backyard, they are outraged that this house had been able to operate for so long without the police being able to do much about it, and we have a City Councillor (as they are no longer alderman- FYI to the metro) calling for the demolition of this property instead of looking at real solutions to the problem.
On the other hand, we have yet another victim of domestic violence who was murdered at the hands of her husband. Where the fuck is the outrage for this person? Where are the neighbours screaming about this kind of thing happening in their backyard. Why aren’t Calgarians angry about the domestic violence in this city?
It seems to be people have the outrage down well for the violent gang related and drug related murders that take place in our city, people are still talking about the new years day murder (of course they are also still blaming at least one of the victims because he was friends with a known gang member- but that is a rant for another blog), but again where is your screaming outrage for women who are stuck in abusive relationships and dying at the hands of their husbands or significant others in your backyards?
While I think it’s great that some city official is saying that enough is enough with this drug related violence (even though the solution to the problem isn’t bulldoze the house- that would be a band aide solution) where are these same city officials denouncing domestic violence? Where is the community outrage?
Right I forgot, she stayed, she didn’t take advantage of the resources, she was uncooperative with police. While this very well might be the case. If you are a woman (in particular a woman with a child) and your husband controls your money, you have no place to stay etc etc and cooperating with the police will just make you deader what the hell are you supposed to do? It doesn’t make this kind of behaviour anymore acceptable.
As a society we denounce child abuse, sexual exploitation of children, and drug related violence. We scream for the police to do something, we leave room for our government to pass unproductive laws for MMS (minimum mandatory sentences) but we then remain silent about domestic abuse, and the murders that can result from these cases? It just doesn’t make any sense. I found articles from across the country in Toronto, Montreal, and Winnipeg on this probable homicide, but haven’t been able to find any articles on the victim that lay dead in a house for 36 hours (even though police visited the home twice since she lay dead) from any news source outside of Calgary. Why? What makes the stabbing of two men fighting over drugs more news worthy then domestic related murders?
Let’s see the kind of outrage people have for drug related murder for domestic related murder.
Am I Missing Something?
The ad you see here is an ad published by “Fluid”, a local salon in Edmonton, Alberta. The ad was a part of a series of 6 ads over the last year (none of the others were that much better, and in some cases they were worse). This stuff just makes me shake my head. How disturbing is it that a local salon is sending the message that if you are getting beaten by your partner you should at least look good? Are you kidding me?
What makes this even worse is the owner of Fluid is a women. That’s right a women. Sarah Cameron told the Sun “It might strike a chord, but as the way our society and community is getting, we keep tailoring everything because everyone is getting so sensitive. Anyone who has a connection or a story behind anything can be upset or have an opinion. We are not trying to attack anyone” Sensitive? Domestic violence already has a huge impact on our communities today and all this ad does is glorify that violence. The owner defends herself by telling CTV that it only looks like it is glorifying violence against women that is how ‘everyone is perceiving it…We want people to talk about it. It’s supposed to gear up some sort of discussion.”
From what I can tell the message here isn’t “domestic violence is an audacity and shouldn’t be put up with” it’s more along the lines of “it’s ok if he beats the $*** out of you as long as he pays for you to look good at the same time”. This ad is simply romanticizing domestic violence and it’s sick. The caption ” look good in all you do” perpetuates the message “getting beat up is OK if he buys you stuff.” Take the above ad for example. The women sitting on the couch in fancy clothes with a clear black eye. The neatly dressed man in the background, holding a neckless (presumably a gift for her- most likely an apology gift but hey maybe I am reading too much into that one). Excuse me well I go vomit.
This ad is just more of the same message that victims of abuse get everyday from society. Hide it anyway that you can. Don’t overreact to something so insignificant. You are just being sensitive and irrational. Society has tolerated this much too long and as a result this violence has been allowed to flourish in such a way that when ads like this turn up we are told we are being ‘too sensitive.” You know whenever we as society let this go: police fail to charge an abuser, we turn a blind eye to the screaming and yelling coming from our neighbours house every night, we pretend not to see the bruises on our friend weekly, we let an ad go like the one above, we are simply allowing abusers to get away with this and frankly sending the message that it is OK. That it is acceptable behaviour.
The other ads weren’t any better two in particular were disturbing in some ways more then this one. A woman implied to be a prostitute sitting on a mattress in an alleyway, and in a later ad a woman pulling a body out of hearse implied to be that prostitute. Think about the subtle message in an ad like that.
I like what another blogger said about it “I’d like to know what a woman with bruises being offered jewelry has do with having your hair styled. Maybe Toys R Us should have an ad of an abused child being offered ice cream as part of it’s Christmas ad campaign.” Sarah Cameron may I reccomend that you sit down and watch all four videos of “Killing Us Softly” hosted by Jean Kilbourne you might learn something about subtle messages in advertising and the gender inequality that exists, even in 2011, and why ads like this don’t help the situation.
Recently, Fluid issued an apology:
“If survivors of abuse interpret this ad to make light of any abusive situation, we sincerely apologize, that was never our intent as there are people that worked on this campaign who are survivors of abuse. To the rest of you who this has so deeply affected, we truly hope you do something to help stop domestic violence. Truly honor the survivors that you are standing up for. Unfortunately boycotting a hair salon will not accomplish this.”
I beg to differ Fluid. Boycotting your hair salon will send the message that this type of advertising will not be accepted. When a corporation does something that is against one’s morals the easiest way to send a message is to go after their sponsors via a letter writing campaign, and boycott their store, show, or product. I can do something for survivors of domestic abuse while at the same time boycotting your salon. It’s quite easy actually. I don’t live in Edmonton, but if I did I certainly would be going out of my way to not go to this place.
